Can’t and Won’t: God knows the Difference
I believe Scripture teaches that every person has a responsibility before God to be faithful with his life, abilities, opportunities, and responsibilities that God has given him.
People do not like responsibility because it implies that we have things we are required to take care of. Not every disability, hardship, or limitation that we have can be removed. But I believe that if we have the knowledge and ability to mitigate even our limitations, then we have a responsibility to do so.
James 4:17 states, “Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.” We see here that knowledge contains a level of responsibility. Luke 12:48 likewise teaches us, “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required.” A person is not accountable for abilities that he was never given, but we are accountable for what has been entrusted to us.
This means that responsibility is connected not only to our ability, but also to knowledge. Once I know that something ought to be done and I have the ability to act upon it, then I can no longer pretend that the matter has nothing to do with me.
Some people take this idea in a very strange direction. I have heard people express a line of thinking that basically amounts to this: If I do not look something up, and there is knowledge available but I intentionally avoid it, then I do not know about it and therefore I am not technically responsible.
I am going to be very frank. That is stupid.
The reason it is stupid is because this is the Word of God we are talking about. You are not playing games with other people. You are playing games with God. He knows your every thought. God knows exactly what you know. He knows what you suspect. He even knows what you are deliberately avoiding and why you are avoiding it.
God made you capable of learning. If we are aware that information exists that can help us address a specific problem, then deliberately refusing to pursue that information is itself a choice.
We cannot manufacture innocence through intentional ignorance. If I know there are reasonable steps I can take to reduce my weight, which is something I have had trouble with, and I know that information exists that can help me do that, but I refuse to take those steps, then I am responsible for that choice.
If I know that there are techniques I can employ to overcome or compensate for some of the developmental things that I know are wrong with my brain, and I do not take those steps, then I am responsible for not making use of what is available to me.
Another question about responsibility then comes up: How responsible are other people for helping us?
I think the better way to frame that question is to turn it around and ask, “How responsible am I for helping other people?”
Galatians 6:2 commands us, “Bear ye one another’s burdens.” Verse 5 says, “For every man shall bear his own burden.” Scripture recognizes both personal responsibility and legitimate dependence upon others.
God already knows whether we legitimately need help. Needing help is not inherently sinful. There are legitimate hardships and legitimate circumstances in which we really do need assistance. But neither is it right to knowingly place upon others a responsibility that we are capable of carrying for ourselves.
There is a difference between receiving necessary help and unnecessarily transferring our responsibilities to somebody else. God knows that difference.
Paul wrote that he labored that “we might not be chargeable to any of you” in 2 Thessalonians 3:8. A few verses later, he commanded those who were able to work and “eat their own bread” in verse 12. First Timothy 5:16 likewise teaches that family members who are capable and able should relieve their own dependents so that the church is not unnecessarily charged with doing so.
The Bible therefore recognizes a legitimate desire to avoid becoming a burden upon others when God has given us the ability to provide, work, or otherwise improve the situation ourselves.
That same principle also applies to stewardship of the body. This is where people are going to dislike what I am saying.
The Bible commands temperance. It commands discipline. It commands responsible stewardship. Paul wrote that “every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things” in 1 Corinthians 9:25. Two verses later, he said that he brought his body into subjection. First Timothy 4:8 also acknowledges that bodily exercise has a real, although limited, profit.
Therefore, when we know that habits within our control are harming our ability to fulfill our responsibilities toward God, our family, our church, and other people, we have a biblical responsibility to address those habits.
This is not about fitting some cultural standard of appearance or physical ability. I do not care what the world thinks is masculine. I do not care what the world thinks about whether I look good. The issue is whether we are faithfully using and caring for the things that God has entrusted to us, especially when our choices affect our ability to fulfill our responsibilities toward other people.
What does this look like in practice?
Men, women, and children have responsibilities to their families. Fathers have a responsibility, if they are able, to remain physically strong and capable of providing for their families. I am not talking about people who have physical disabilities or limitations that make this impossible. I am talking about those who are able.
Mothers have a responsibility to take care of themselves and to remain physically capable of being keepers at home.
I also believe spouses have an obligation to become or remain as physically functional and attractive as possible to each other. People may not like that statement either, but I believe it follows from the larger principle of marital responsibility.
Children have a responsibility to learn and grow so that one day they will be able to provide for their own homes and, if necessary, for their aging parents who provided for them.
I believe everyone has a responsibility, to the best of his ability, to avoid preventable medical conditions that would cause him to become a burden to others in his life.
Where am I getting this?
In 1 Corinthians 7:3–5 we read:
“Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
“The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
“Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time.”
This passage is speaking specifically about intimacy within the bonds of marriage. The Scriptural principle I am addressing, however, is evident here: We do not belong solely to ourselves. We have obligations to meet that involve giving even of our own bodies when necessary. We have responsibilities.
People like to take this passage and complain about husbands and wives owing each other their bodies because they say that it amounts to slavery.
Consider what we already accept in other areas of life.
Do you give your body to your workplace? Do you give your body to your community when you choose to do volunteer work for some community project? Do parents give their bodies to their children to birth them, clean them, feed them, and clothe them? What about aging parents who need care?
If children are playing a team sport, do they give their bodies to the team and to the game? Do they have a responsibility to maintain their health and physical condition for that purpose? Do soldiers give their bodies in service to their country?
The idea that giving your body to your spouse is somehow barbaric is insane. It is hyperbole that misses the point.
The point is that we have duties and obligations to fulfill toward other people even with our own bodies, and we bear responsibility for doing so.
This same principle applies to conditions that we did not choose.
Moses protested to God that he was “slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.” Yet God still commanded him, “Now therefore go.” Moses’ limitation was real. God did not pretend that Moses did not have the limitation. But that limitation did not eliminate the responsibility God had given him.
Faithfulness consists in serving God despite our weaknesses, addressing what we can address, working around what we can work around, and enduring those things that cannot be removed. We remain responsible for faithful obedience, discipline, and stewardship.
The parable of the talents also demonstrates that God does not give identical abilities or circumstances to every person. Matthew 25:15 says that the master gave “to every man according to his several ability.” The servants were accountable for what they had actually received, but they were not held accountable for possessing the same capacities as one another.
That is why measuring ourselves by other people is ultimately the wrong standard.
Somebody else might be stronger than I am. Somebody else might be weaker than I am. Somebody else might have overcome circumstances far more difficult or less difficult than mine. But that person’s stewardship is not mine.
My responsibility is determined by what God has entrusted to me, not by what He has entrusted to somebody else.
If I know that a problem is within my ability to address, and I knowingly refuse to address it even though doing so would unnecessarily hinder my responsibilities or place avoidable burdens upon other people, then I believe Scripture gives me a genuine responsibility to work on that problem.
That does not mean that I am guaranteed to overcome every problem that I have. It does not mean that needing help is somehow shameful. It does not mean that every limitation I have can be fixed.
It means that I am responsible to be faithful with what I have.
That is the question each of us must consider when looking at our own lives: What has God entrusted to me, what do I know I ought to do, what am I capable of doing, and am I faithfully carrying the responsibilities He has given me?
